Waffles
by Perita-BrightEyes
Summary: Crack!fic. Doesnt really make much sense. Implied Sarah/John. Sherlock is bored, so he asks John for help. John should have given it.


**A/N: **Hey Guys, it's been a long while but I'm finally getting another fic up. This is a Sherlock fic called Waffles. It's dedicated to AOA because she loves Sherlock almost as much as I do and she gave me the prompt for this

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sherlock, the guy from hitchhikers who plays John Watson or Benedict Cumberpatch (Unfortunately)

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**Waffles**

Sherlock Holmes, the world's only consulting detective was bored. He was laid in his pyjamas on the couch in the apartment that he shared with Dr John Watson. In one hand he cradled his violin and in the other rested in his slim fingers was a shotgun. Along with cases he had ran out of nicotine patches and was getting quite restless

"BORED" he yelled and shot the wall before playing a meaningless tune on the violin. When would John get back from his date with that Sarah woman? He picked up his phone from the dining table and flicked open the screen to start a new text message

John Watson, an ex-soldier, Doctor and now in a partnership with the world's only consulting detective and probably the world's worst violin player was on a date. Not with Sherlock, he wasn't gay like everyone seemed to think he was, even though it would be okay if he was because being gay was fine! No, he was on a date with the beautiful Sarah. They were at the circus and having a great time when John felt his phone vibrate. Damn Sherlock.

Sherlock:

Bored. What 2 do? No cases. Help

So? The great Sherlock Holmes who worked alone because no-one could compete with his massive intellect, the detective wanted HIS help did he? Well tough. John Watson was no-one's but Sarah's tonight. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and apologised to Sarah with a smile. Not 20 minutes later his phone went off again. Watson rolled his eyes and glanced at the message

Sherlock:

Wall taking beating. Bored. Urgent. If possible come quickly.

John shook his head and closed the message, slipped his phone back into his pocket for a second time and continued to watch the death defying high wire act.

"Oh John, this is amazing" Sarah sighed and leant against him, smiling. The night passed without any more contact from Sherlock and soon John had to take Sarah home. Before he started the engine another text came through from Sherlock

Sherlock:

If not possible, come anyway

John rolled his eyes and turned the key in the ignition, concentrating on navigating London's streets to Sarah's house

"Thank you for an amazing night John" She smiled and kissed him goodnight. He grinned and got back into his car. He drove to the car-park where he kept his car and then limped the 2 blocks to 221B Baker Street. He was about to open the door when his phone vibrated yet again. Couldn't that man give him one night of peace! In his anger, John almost broke his phone ripping it from his pocket and staring at the words written on the message

Sherlock:

WAFFLES

John's anger was soon replaced by puzzlement. Watson was perplexed. What? That made no sense. Why would Sherlock be texting him about waffles when he had never even seen the man eat?

"Does he even know what a fridge and a microwave are FOR?" He asked aloud, remembering the time he found a head in the fridge

_It's a head... A severed head?  
Just tea for me, thanks.  
There's a head in the fridge!  
Yes..?  
A bloody head!  
Where else am I supposed to put it?_

And the eyes in the microwave

_Are these eyes?_

_ITS AN EXPERIMENT_

John shook his head and trudged up the stairs, opening the door to the apartment to see the world's only consulting detective surrounded by a large pile of waffles

"Uh, Sherlock?" John questioned

"WAFFLES" Sherlock shouted and threw his latest master piece at the wall, letting it join the patchwork of waffles that adorned the awful wallpaper that had gun holes in it. John stared in wonderment but didn't ask, walking to his room and grabbing a waffle off the wall on his way past

"What a nutter" he muttered and closed his door to the insanity in the kitchen

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_So? What do you think? :D Review please!_

~Perita-BrightEyes~


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